Susan David’s research shows that being able to identify emotional experiences is key to emotional health and psychosocial well-being. She writes, “Learning to label emotions with a more nuanced vocabulary can be absolutely transformative” and that those who are able to identify and manage emotions “do much, much better at managing the ups and downs of ordinary existence than those who see everything in black and white.”1
What if we could better notice our emotions (being fully aware, present, grounded, and engaged), name them (being emotionally intelligent), negotiate with them (finding insight, healing, and strength), and navigate forward with them through healthy regulation (living freely, healthily, authentically, and unfettered)? What if our emotions are important signals or clues to an invitation to growth and healing? What if our emotions could be a guide to better personal development and fulfillment? What if we could recognize these five core emotions as invitations to encounter greater depths of experiencing life to the full? I use these 'FOUR N's' –
Notice Name Negotiate Navigate
– to explore ways of leaning into greater mindfulness with, and regulation through, our own emotional experiences. This may not only help one grow personally, but it may also help one be a better non-anxious, loving presence for others in their own journeys toward better healthy grounding and growth. Being a more emotionally grounded person is a way we can more fully receive, enjoy, and share a loving life together. In the preface to her excellent book, Healing Through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair, American psychotherapist and poet Miriam Greenspan writes, “More and more, as a society, we have come to comprehend that the ability to feel, understand, and manage our emotions, especially those we call “negative”, is a vital aspect of overall intelligence and essential to living a good life.” 2
1 Susan David, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life (Avery Publishing, New York, NY, 2016), p. 85.
2 Miriam Greenspan, Healing Through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair (Shambhala Publications Inc., Boston MS), 2003, p. xii
